LIZZO: Icon and Beacon of Light

I waited to create this blog post because I wanted to really absorb and reflect on my evening at the Lizzo concert.

The entire experience was amazing! From the sheer size of the arena, to the people watching (so much hot pink, sequins, glitter, and pearls! The hair and makeup!), to the opening acts (Sophia Eris! DJ Von! Latto!), to being in the same place as Lizzo and seeing her fantastic performance and wisdom. Being in an arena with thousands of people singing along to lyrics that build people up and create hope was something I will never forget.

At one point, a question on the screen asked us when the last time we said something kind to ourselves was, and someone shouted, “Never!” Lizzo heard that and said that that hurt her heart: “We hear from the world every single day why we’re not good enough, and the last person you need to hear it from is yourself!” She said that the world tries to tear us down for what makes us unique, special, different, beautiful, and if she can be who she is, someone who does not fit the mold of the beauty standard fed to us, then we can also be successful. She said that as she worked towards her dreams, she spoke to herself everyday with love, and that everyday we need to take time to say something kind about ourselves, even it it’s “You’re special! I’m so glad that you’re still with us, broken, but damn you’re still perfect!”

Needless to say, there were many tears during her speech, and throughout her concert. Negative self-talk is one of the biggest detriments to human beings, and when society piles on the negativity and criticism as well, no one wants to put themselves out there, try to achieve big dreams, and live a rich life to the fullest. Society wants us to stay small, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I will no longer be having that. I will speak to myself kindly everyday, and I will pursue my goals with gusto. I will free my mind and body, and go for it.

Dear reader, in the words of Lizzo, “You are beautiful and you can do anything!” I hope that you pursue your dreams as well. Thank goodness that Lizzo exists on this earth right now, because she is so needed. And I will listen to her songs on repeat as I learn to speak kindly to myself, free my body, and crush my goals. To self-love and to Lizzo! Thank you, Lizzo, from the bottom of my heart.

When Things are Worth the Effort, My Holiday Hopes for You, and My Workshop in Collage-Lab's Virtual Retreat!!

Today after a long day, I was moving suitcases out of the way to get to my family’s wrapping paper stash from last year to wrap a present for my mom. There was already a perfectly good roll out on the desk that I could have used. However, the thought of all the packages being wrapped in the same paper just felt blah. It wouldn’t be the joyous cacophony of pattern under the tree. It just wouldn’t be as fun. I decided it was worth it to put forth the extra effort. Suitcases were moved, doors were opened, digging was done, and voilà! More lovely wrapping paper. More fun. Worth it.

I hope that in this holiday season, whether you are near or far from home, you encounter a thing that requires a bit of effort, that delivers some kind of small reward that makes it all worth it. I also hope that you take some deep breaths, take care of yourself, and treat yourself to something a little fun, whether it’s bubblegum or a bubble bath.

Speaking of fun, if you enjoy learning and my collages, you can now sign up for Collage-Lab’s Virtual Mixed Media Collage Retreat, happening the entire month of April 2023! I’m teaching a workshop about creating dreamy unified landscapes with depth and color. You can find out more on Collage-Lab’s website. Early bird pricing is $125 for a whole month of collage fun! I was an attendee last year and I loved it. I hope you can join us!

Happy Holidays!

26 Things to Do When You're Alone and Lonely

Hello, all! I’m back with some fun things to do when feeling alone and lonely. I am using both of these words because one can feel lonely while in a group, and alone when no one is around, but not necessarily lonely. I am currently living by myself for a few months, and as the holidays are coming up, and COVID continues to require people to isolate themselves, I thought I would do a lil post on what to do when you find yourself alone and lonely. There are some no to low contact things and some mid to high contact things, some indoors and outdoors things, but hopefully there is enough variety that some might suit your situation. And now, the list!

1. Reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a while, for whatever reason. If you are 18+ years old, I’m sure you have someone on your friends list on Facebook that you can message, even if it feels a little weird to do. If Facebook is not a healthy step for you, keep reading. If you are still on Facebook, here are some conversation starters: “Hey, I was just thinking about you! I hope all is well!” Or, “Hey, I just had a random dream with you in it, haha! Just wanted to check and see how you’re doing! The Universe be crazy sometimes!” Note that these openers are not emotionally loaded or creepy (the dream one could be, so please use wisely.) But everyone is going through something, and maybe no one has actually asked how they’re doing and actually cared about the answer. So, you might be reaching out to someone at just the right time.

2. If you are not on Facebook, there’s Reddit! Reddit can be totally anonymous (or not), but I am recommending it because the community is 95% of the time very encouraging and positive. Over 30, tired of dating fiascos, and need to vent? There’s r/datingoverthirty. Need your faith in humanity restored? There’s r/HumansBeingBros. Need to see something cute so you don’t fall into the dark gaping maw of politics? There’s r/EyeBleach. These topics are called subreddits, because they are little branches under the larger canopy of Reddit. There is a subreddit for anything and everything. Some art ones that I like are r/ArtistLounge, r/trippingthroughtime, and r/ArtTimelapse. If you’re already on Reddit, and it’s not as interactive as you would like, search via Google “forum” “+niche interest you have”. There probably is one, and if not, it could be time to start one!

3. Sign up for a pen pal. This Travel and Leisure article shares seven platforms that will connect you with a pen pal from anywhere in the world, and it doesn’t have to be through snail mail, although a few prefer that. Some services offer video chatting, texting, or virtual meetups. Postcrossing sounds neat to me! There are also senior care centers around the US asking for pen pals to combat isolation. If you are in Pennsylvania, here is a list of several places who have requested pen pals.

4. Go to your local library and sign up for a library card. Ask them to show you how to borrow books electronically.

5. Go on a walk or hike.

6. Go on an adventure! See what sights are within an hour’s drive of your location. If it’s a restaurant, go try the food. If it’s a comedy club, go check it out. If it’s a museum, see what they have on their walls.

7. Along the same vein, take yourself out on a date, IRL or virtually. Dress up and go all out, pick up your favorite beverage and cook something special that you wouldn’t normally. Get a movie you’ve been wanting to see on your digital device. If going out IRL, check out that new place you’ve been wanting to try. Take your phone, journal, or sketchpad with you and write about what you see and hear. Draw your meal or your surroundings. Pretend you are a food critic and you’re doing a write up. Being alone and dining out isn’t embarrassing when you look fantastic and you’re treating yoself! Also, go you for being brave! A lot of people would rather sit at home in misery than be seen out by themselves, so hell yeah for doing the damn thing!

8. Have a slumber party for one in your living room! Get all your favorite snacks and drinks and funny movies (or Schitt’s Creek!) and pillows and blankets to the floor! Watch all those movies til the early morning and fall asleep where you’re laying, then get up when the sun rises and go back to your comfy bed until noon. Aw yeah, that’s a slumber party done right!

9. Get a cat. Or a fish, if that’s more your level. I say these because they are somewhat low maintenance and provide someone to talk to at the end of your day. According to the CDC, pet ownership can help you manage loneliness and depression, as well provide health benefits like decreased blood pressure and cholesterol. Cats are great because they are affectionate, but independent as well, so if you need be away from home for long periods during the day, you won’t have to worry about your cat. Or your fish. The pluses are really adding up here. Here are more scientific benefits about cat ownership. I currently have two kitties, so I am a tad biased, but here are the benefits to owning fish:)

10. Do NaNoWriMo. It stands for National Novel Writing Month, and the main event takes place in November, but prep for it starts in September. Got a story in you? NaNoWriMo says yes, you do. There are writer’s groups and meetups, pep talks by famous authors (here’s Neil Gaiman’s), and tools to help you build the world that will be your novel. I’m going to do it next year (2021) because I was not fully prepared this year, but I will persevere, and my novel will get written. WHO’S WITH ME?!

11. Draw on your windows with chalk markers, or your sidewalk with sidewalk chalk and tell your neighbors a joke, inspiring quote, or fun trivia fact per day. Goal: lift up oneself and one’s neighbors with knowledge and positivity. Side note: if you decide to use spray chalk, you need to wash it off within 24 hours or it will stain. Speaking from experience.

12. Learn TikTok dances or funny skits and post them.

13. Volunteer to walk dogs at the shelter. Or sign up for Rover and get paid to walk them.

14. Help someone, somehow. Cook a meal for a neighbor. Volunteer at a food bank, soup kitchen, or homeless shelter. Leave a nice note at the bus stop. Buy socks (or go through your sock drawer) and hygiene products and donate them to the homeless. Socks are the least donated, but most needed items for homeless shelters.

15. Go minimal! Watch Tidying Up with Marie Kondo on Netflix. Get rid of the excess baggage and keep the things that spark joy. Go through all your things and donate, sell, recycle, or trash all that extra stuff. Feel how nice a clean, uncluttered space feels. Ah. Breathing room.

16. Sign up for a virtual meetup. Meetup.com is still active, some virtually, some IRL. I’ve seen hiking ones, life drawing ones, free and almost free ones, the possibilities are endless!

17. Organize a silly walk parade in your neighborhood. Put up some flyers and ask everyone to join in the fun. Keep your six feet of distance, but be as silly as possible on two feet.

18. Cut out some magazine pictures and grab a glue stick. Glue them to places around town! Paper is biodegradable and if the glue is water soluble, it won’t permanently damage what you’re gluing it to. Be wise about where you glue though. No store windows or super public places. Let it be a little treasure for someone to find.

19. Pretend you’re Kevin McAllister in Home Alone and do all the things you are not allowed to do when people are around, like dance naked or make a tower of ice cream, then eat it for dinner.

20. Take the bus and get coffee in a neighborhood you don’t normally visit.

21. Go outside and use your phone to take pictures of ten different textures or all the yellow things you see around your neighborhood.

22. Start a gratitude journal and start small, then think bigger. To begin: I am thankful that I can blink. And the middle/daily stuff: I am thankful I got up the second time my alarm went off. And get bigger: I am thankful that the moon is always there, even when I can’t see it.

23. Practice a hobby that involves working with your hands or using your creative brain powers. It’s hard to feel lonely when you’re in the flow of making something.

24. Fashion show! Put on ridiculous outfits and strut in front of your mirror. Or get the mail.

25. Listen to podcasts while you do chores around the house. One of my favorites is The Moth, a storytelling podcast and live event. They are doing a virtual gala to honor Padma Lakshmi on November 17th, and the theme is LIFT OFF: Stories of Going Above and Beyond. Other favorite podcasts include Optimal Living Daily, Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness, Rebel Eaters Club, The Jealous Curator: Art for Your Ear, and Creative Pep Talk with Andy J. Pizza.

26. Support an artist on Patreon and participate in their community. If you support an artist on Patreon with a monthly donation, you get some cool rewards, including an exclusive private feed for fans, and the ability to contact the artist directly. There are musicians, YouTube creators, podcast hosts, visual artists, and more. It’s definitely worth checking out because you can donate as little as $1-$3 per month and get inside info and a community led by your favorite artists. I’ll be launching my Patreon soon, so stay tuned!

That is all, friends. I hope some of these activities inspire you to be brave and take loneliness by the hand and trot into the sunset of the joy of being alone ( or together, depending on your activity of choice). Being lonely can make you feel lost and helpless, but hopefully this list will inspire you to take some control over your situation and help you forget about it for a bit. Let me know if you try them in the comments or via the Contact form! I wish everyone good health and a good weekend:)

Oh, Lawd, Another Holiday!/Little Things to Celebrate You! (Self-Love Day)

Happy Valentine’s Day to my Lovelies!

If you are like me and are perpetually single on Valentine’s Day, or just in general feeling unloved and especially miserable today, do something to treat yourself!

I was incredibly down about Valentine’s Day around the beginning of February because it occurred to me that the holiday approacheth and I still had not found my True Love. This hurts my feelings and triggers some things in me mentally due to my previous psychotic experiences (which I’ll talk about later in a YouTube series). So when I talked to my therapist about my feelings and triggers, she suggested that I make it a Self-Love Day and do something that would bring me joy. So, I decided to make February Self-Love Month, and I’ve been doing a few things here and there that make me feel good, like applying a milky facial sheet mask or reading the Cosmo with Gina Rodriguez on it, having a bath or baking brownies (which are super easy to make from scratch and my mom’s recipe is magical.)

I did go hard the day of Valentine’s Day, though. I had brunch with a friend, got myself flowers, a llama stick balloon, and heart-shaped Reese’s Peanut Butter cups. I got a steak for me and for my wee doggie, and my plan is to either roast some Brussels sprouts or sautee some green beans with mushrooms and onions…I have about 30 minutes to decide. Oh, and I also sent about 20 Valentines to family and friends, which I thoroughly enjoyed putting together using stuff from Dollar Tree, Wal-Mart, and the William and Mary Gift Shoppe, Inc., a local shop with neat little things in it. That was me spreading love to others, yet also taking care of myself.

The point is, make today an occasion that brings you joy, that you would want to repeat and build on in subsequent years. Make it something that might start a tradition where you can celebrate you and anyone who needs love.

Here are some ideas of my own to help you celebrate Self-Love Day, plus some that my best friend gave to me when I talked to her about it:

0. Walk dogs at a local animal shelter

1. Spread a blanket on the floor of the living room and have a PB&J sandwich cut into the shape of a heart.

2. Get dressed up and sing your favorite song in the bathroom mirror.

3. Make Valentine’s Day cards for a local nursing home.

4. Take yourself to a movie and get the little snack pack with the popcorn AND the candy.

5. Cook an elaborate meal that you wouldn’t normally cook for yourself, but that you enjoy immensely.

6. Buy or pick yourself flowers.

7. Get some form of chocolate or other sweet goodness for dessert.

8. Go to a museum! I know some that have later hours on Thursdays.

9. Go for a drive and sing a long to the radio.

10. Curl up with hot chocolate and a book you’ve been wanting to read.

I would love to hear some of your ideas in the comments. :) Enjoy your Day of YOU!