Everything turns, turns, turns, turns

Here we are, a week into the new year of 2024. Which is a lot to deal with in itself: This means that 2014 was ten years ago at this point. It does not feel like it at all. But alas, if we are to uphold the basic tenets of the existence of time, ten years ago it was.

In June of 2014, I had just resigned from teaching art at a public high school in North Carolina, deciding to take a year off before attending grad school for my MFA. So much has changed since then, and when I reflect on the years between then and now, on all of the therapy I have been in, and on all of the self help books I have read, the realization that we operate in cycles, seasons, and phases has become crystallized in my mind. It has finally sunk in.

The reason that this has been such a hard thing to compute is due to American society’s emphasis on productivity and output. We are expected to work 40-60 hours per week, 52 weeks a year, in addition to side hustles, on an average of six hours of sleep per night. It is really preferred that we act more like machines and run full throttle until we break down. However, we are living, breathing creatures of nature. We all have our own little cycles.

An illustration of the four seasons. Source: Pixabay.

We have a life cycle of infancy, childhood, and adulthood. We have menstrual cycles. We have waking hours and sleeping hours. We need a balance of work, play, and rest on repeat. The seasons teach us that we have periods of growth and renewal, and periods of withdrawal and hibernation. Periods of sunshine, and periods of staying cozy in the dark. And because of these lessons from the natural world, I have decided to be easier on myself, and to take notice of my own little seasons in a more nature-inspired manner. As much as I would like to, I can’t do everything, everywhere, all at once, so I need to be more mindful and look at my individual patterns.

I have decided to look at the year of 2024 as a whole to determine where my own personal seasons lie. For the next month, I will be making as much art as possible because in February, my teaching session begins. The majority of my creative output will go towards my examples and lessons. However, I really want to participate in Februllage this year, so in between making things, I’ll be gathering materials to create a card catalog of sorts for quick reference when February comes around. I will also only apply for the programs or opportunities that I really want, at least one per quarter. I will reevaluate the next season or cycle after my teaching session, after the dust has settled. That will be my Q1. Artmaking and teaching. Q2, I will worry about later.

For now, I will rededicate myself to the present moment and let go of any expectations that require me to be full-throttle, all day everyday. My words of the year are Fun and Rest—I like the word of the year approach, more than the resolution approach. We’ll see how it goes. I hope whether you have made resolutions or a vision board or other goals, that you’ll use them as a general guide and try not to be in a big hurry. As my secret blog post says, we spend way more time in the messy middle of our journey than we do at our destination.

LIZZO: Icon and Beacon of Light

I waited to create this blog post because I wanted to really absorb and reflect on my evening at the Lizzo concert.

The entire experience was amazing! From the sheer size of the arena, to the people watching (so much hot pink, sequins, glitter, and pearls! The hair and makeup!), to the opening acts (Sophia Eris! DJ Von! Latto!), to being in the same place as Lizzo and seeing her fantastic performance and wisdom. Being in an arena with thousands of people singing along to lyrics that build people up and create hope was something I will never forget.

At one point, a question on the screen asked us when the last time we said something kind to ourselves was, and someone shouted, “Never!” Lizzo heard that and said that that hurt her heart: “We hear from the world every single day why we’re not good enough, and the last person you need to hear it from is yourself!” She said that the world tries to tear us down for what makes us unique, special, different, beautiful, and if she can be who she is, someone who does not fit the mold of the beauty standard fed to us, then we can also be successful. She said that as she worked towards her dreams, she spoke to herself everyday with love, and that everyday we need to take time to say something kind about ourselves, even it it’s “You’re special! I’m so glad that you’re still with us, broken, but damn you’re still perfect!”

Needless to say, there were many tears during her speech, and throughout her concert. Negative self-talk is one of the biggest detriments to human beings, and when society piles on the negativity and criticism as well, no one wants to put themselves out there, try to achieve big dreams, and live a rich life to the fullest. Society wants us to stay small, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I will no longer be having that. I will speak to myself kindly everyday, and I will pursue my goals with gusto. I will free my mind and body, and go for it.

Dear reader, in the words of Lizzo, “You are beautiful and you can do anything!” I hope that you pursue your dreams as well. Thank goodness that Lizzo exists on this earth right now, because she is so needed. And I will listen to her songs on repeat as I learn to speak kindly to myself, free my body, and crush my goals. To self-love and to Lizzo! Thank you, Lizzo, from the bottom of my heart.

Collage for Coping and for Play

Now that it is May and World Collage Day is almost upon us (May 14!), I wanted to share an insight that I’ve discovered over the past three months.

First, we had Februllage, (@februllage), an entire month of collage prompts organized by Miss. Printed and Rhed Fawell. Then there was Marchollage, organized by Rachel Morris (@FiveByFiveCreativity) because Februllage became a lifeline for her after her parents’ passing. She created Marchollage to cope and to connect with other artists. She is not alone in creating collage as a coping method. I am one of them, and we are many. I was unable to participate in Marchollage because I signed up for CollageLab’s Spring Fling, a month long collage extravaganza, but I will definitely try to participate next year!

In getting to know the other artists who were participating in CollageLab’s Spring Fling, many of them had a similar story to mine and Rachel’s: crisis led them to collage. I began collage at the beginning of my struggles with mental health, and several participants and instructors in the Spring Fling echoed that they had taken up collage to cope with mental health issues, the pandemic, or personal crisis. Now that I am a part of the Pittsburgh Collage Collective (@pghcollagecollective on IG), several members have also said that collage helped them get through their mental health struggles, whether from circumstance, brain chemicals, or addiction.

Collage is mindfulness meditation in action. It’s very satisfying to take unlike parts and create something entirely new. The action of cutting requires all of your attention, as does the composing. It’s hard to think about anything else but the present moment when cutting, composing, or looking for that something yellow that needs to go just right there. It’s creating order from chaos, or the other way around. It’s also a way to play! In the Spring Fling, we learned about just playing to see what kinds of effects we could create with different materials. Collage can be anything that is attached to another thing, and the options are endless. No rules except your own. If you have been struggling in some way, tear something up and glue it back together. It may help a little. <3

A small collage I made just to play.